1. New Beginnings

From the recording Flawed American Male


(Gill Sotu)

Once upon a time, I planted a tree in a field of new beginnings
Near its roots, baby jasmine and plum roses
The top of the tree split into two massive branches
Separated symmetrically to resemble a smile
I smile every time I see it in imagine it’s doing the same when it sees me
I tend to kiss the wind in random places in random moments in hopes of finding where God is ticklish
I feel blessed for what I have in my life, so i fee I have to give back to the dude
Although, depression can find me, no matter what the environment
In these darker times the only thing I can do is lay down and let the grass and the wind move and remind me that everything changes and will one day turn into its opposite
Even my despair
As I lay there, a poem I never saw coming stopped, saw my need for change, and got inspired
So once upon a time, a poem wrote me
In it I was a metaphor for 8:00 AM
I was a bowl of sugary cereal but with soy milk to avoid the bubble guts
I was sunshine and a cool breeze
I was tight lyrics over a phat beat
I was no traffic on the last day to a job where you were gonna smack be hell out of your boss
(I was that cool in the poem)
My poem described me as a broken watch, with the words “Now” inscribed on the back
I nailed that watch to the bark of my tree in the center of my field and “Now” is the only time I keep
Once upon a time my poem got inspired and wrote me
In it I was being written backwards, with a left hand, in red ink
Perhaps it was filled with blood
My poem described me as a time line that dripped
So I went back in time and erased the memory of me hurting this beautiful woman that never deserved it
I went further back in time to my fifth grade year and knocked out this kid who actually did
I went to my fifth birthday, put quotations around the word father
Then a question mark then three dots meaning to be continued
Finally, reluctantly, ended the sentence with a heart
Once up a time a poem actually got inspired and wrote me
In it I was being created, soon to be realized within a woman’s womb
God held me carefully as he carved within my interiors small mistakes and then slightly larger victories
He then made me look around at all of you, as he sketched out the figure of infinity on my back and disguised it to look just like my DNA
He then proceeded to tell me a dirty joke, we laughed about it for nine months
He got us all together for a first supper on tv trays as we watched a movie of our lives with etch-a-sketch endings
God pushed me head first into Feburary 25th 1978 and whispered,” begin”
When my poem was finished writing me, I got from the grass, I thanked it, I wiped away any remaining sorries I felt for myself, and I re-began